Tiny fragments of a larger picture

Spent the last week or so pulling together what Dan left behind; his pictures, meager possessions, and the fragments of our hearts.

We have spent hours going through pictures, and days in surgical and ER waiting rooms. They are still pulling out pieces of glass from Tom’s neck and arm.

Yesterday, his stitches fell out, leaving a gaping hole in his neck from the surgery. It was awful.

I watched him lay on the hospital bed. I couldn’t see his face behind the doctor. All I could see was his arms, stomach and legs. Without making a sound, his hands turned into fists gripping the sides of the bed, his stomach tightened and sunk as his knees began to buckle with pain.

I am so weary from watching my children suffer physically and emotionally. Emily crying at night, now watching him on that bed. I could just feel my strength run out of me. As if someone had tapped my heart and siphoned the life out of me, and let it run out onto the hospital floor.

I came home, exhausted and retreated to the comfort of my robe and covers, wanting nothing more than to end the day.

Tom’s sewn back together, and feels better I’m sure. He brought home friends last night. I wondered through the living room and found three 6’ foot frames draped over the couches and spread out on the floor. That’s a good sign. They are lifelong friends, holding each other together. No one here has escaped the summer without pain, or scars.

Today promises to be a better day. Wait. Does it? Does the dawn ever promise us anything? No. That is the bitter lesson of these past summer days. The dawn breaks with beautiful color and majesty on a day of death and destruction, just the same as it breaks on a day of birth and rejoicing.

So what to do then? Pray. As the new day dawns, it holds only the promise of the love of Christ, and His mercy no matter what the day will unfold.

Our only promise is love and redemption as we walk through our appointed days in a fallen world. But this new day brings hope because of His love, and the seeds of blessings He has planted all around us. Most of which, we aren’t aware of until He brings them into bloom.

We just have to make sure our eyes are not tight with tears, or hands with clinched with fists, that we can’t see them or reach out and take what goodness has God brought into today.