For the third time, I awoke to the sounds of Mike’s grief. The first time was in the hospital, but it has been every morning since we have been home.

I was glad it was thundering and lightening yesterday when we got up. It seemed fitting, and even comforting. The roll of thunder and lightening strikes seem to echo how I was feeling.

Today it looks like its going to be hot. I will have to make sure everything is watered well. I can’t bear the thought of seeing anything die in my garden. Danny worked so hard with me out there. He was my right hand man this spring, and he took such pride in it. I told him I needed him, and he stepped right up.

He made sure the entire garden was mulched before he went Home last Tuesday. Just another indicator that Dan walked in the spirit; only the Holy Spirit could have known how that would protect my heart. It would have been too hard for me to go out into the garden and finish anything he had started. It would have robbed me of a refuge, now I can still find peace in my gardens.

I thought last night’s visitation was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do. Looking back it wasn’t. Nothing compares to the night we learned he was gone. But then too, we had the loving support of brothers and sisters in Christ, many who stayed through the night with us, just to help us cry and keep breathing.

Although I’m dreading the hour the funeral home car pulls up to take us to bury our son, I found that I can keep my heart from jumping out of my chest by remembering that like last night, God will bring the strength for the hour, and my brothers and sisters in Christ will not only mourn with us, they will continue, as they have all through this, to help us bear this too.

I learned a lot last night. I think for the very first time in my Christian life I learned the depth of what it means to share one another’s burdens. The moment I saw Karin, and we embraced, each of us felt the full weight of the other’s burden.

When I came face to face with the hurting children, who had lost a good friend, my grief hid behind my heart just long enough for me to try to speak some peace and hope to them. My prayer is that the death of one will bring about the salvation of many.

Time to face the hot sun, and a day I thought would never happen.